Was the evening of Thanksgiving and all through the land
People were stuffed, filled full of turkey and ham
The leftovers put away in frigdes all around
While tired cooks rested making not a sound
The kids would all soon be tucked away in bed
While violent video games danced in their heads
One holiday down, but the parents all grimaced
For next up was Christmas, this stress was unfinished
Soon the children will be screaming and clawing
The amount of greed will be almost appalling
“I want a toy, a new game and a computer”
“You know that I like a first person shooter”
“I need a new phone and maybe a tablet”
“The phone I’ve got now has just about had it”
What happened to board games and toy soldiers
Baby dolls, a sheriff’s badge or a plastic gun with a holster
Everything now seems super expensive
Kids get too much, it’s downright offensive
If the kids were to get everything they asked for
Parents would go broke with houses in foreclosure
So how do you handle the season of greed
Keep everyone happy, but just get what they need
Be wise with your gifts, your money and time
Not feel like buying less was a terrible crime
Santa for years tried to figure it all out
But decided we forgot what the season’s about
The people today would rather bicker and fight
Over our greetings or what way should be right
You can no longer say Merry Christmas to all
For some Happy Holidays will be your downfall
Season’s greetings is okay, or at least not as bad
But it all makes me wonder and Santa seems sad
His words were not jolly and his demeanor was stiff
As he traveled last Christmas and gave out the gifts
He finished his journey and it seemed such a sight
With Santa so worn down at the end of the night
I heard him exclaim upon his sleigh to the reindeer
“Glad this shit is over, let’s go home, I need me a beer!”
Just so everyone knows, I love the holidays but I do miss those days when you didn’t need to worry about how or what you said to each individual. When a coloring book and 64 count box of crayons with the sharpener on back were an awesome find under the Christmas tree. Oh, memories.
After an evening of binge watching The Walking Dead and then earlier reading this post by a fellow blogger I came upon a realization. As a society we are aware of the possibility of a zombie epidemic. We have been told what to do, what not to do, how to kill them and most definitely to not get bitten. We have been given ideas on how to survive, where to look for food and to not trust anyone.
It is also best to have some archery skills and to be efficient with a sword. There have so many scenarios involving zombies played out in books, on TV or in movies they have become kind of cliché. There isn’t much about them that has not explored or exposed.
There are other possible apocalypses of course, but they have taken a back seat to the zombies recently. One I have mentioned on my blogs several times and the post I mentioned earlier speaks of is the robot apocalypse. You know, when robots or machines gain intelligence and decide humans are inferior.
This has also been explored in depth in almost every median. Ways to stop it are a little more complicated than an automatic weapon or machete though. Some have included time travel, taking out the mother computer, destroying all electronics or nuking the planet. Kind of scary stuff.
In each instance there is always hope. There are those who pull together and survive by trusting each other. There is usually a leader who keeps everyone on track until the threat is destroyed. There is a lot of emotion, everyone is subjected to loss but they are also survivors and that makes everything perfect in the end. That’s a short description but I think a fairly accurate one.
So back to my initial realization. We can and have been told how to survive these types of disasters or end of the world scenarios, but what if both were taking place at the same time? Could it be possible? I can think of a couple ways pretty easily.
Scenario 1: Let’s say some crazy lunatic scientist creates an artificial intelligence then uploads it into the latest cyborg. He leaves it alone one day as a marathon event shows every episode of the Walking Dead or every Living Dead movie plays on TV. At some point lightning strikes the cyborg causing him to malfunction and creating the zombie mindset. The wireless nature of everything then causes this mindset to be automatically uploaded into every smart electronic product in existence. Instant Zombie Robot Apocalypse!
Scenario 2: Humankind has advanced so much that most humans are now at least partially bionic. Almost every being in the planet has parts made of titanium and electrical implants. The government “accidentally” drops a barrel containing green toxic gas off a truck traveling through a major city and everyone is infected. Those that survive have to fight for survival against the rest. How do you shoot a zombie in the brain when they have a titanium plate in their forehead?
Scenario 3: This one is real simple. Someone creates a zombie virus, uploads it into a robot then sends it back in time. Okay, maybe it’s not so simple but somehow it would work, I just know it.
Anyway, what do you think? Could we ever even hope to survive the dreaded Robot Zombie Apocalypse!? (Notice I switched up the name there, got to give both equal billing.)
There of course are other possible hybrid apocalypses. Things like Dolphin Zombies or Aliens riding an asteroid hurtling towards earth but they don’t sound as interesting to me. Maybe you can think of one that’s as scary as Zom Ro Ap! (Ro Zom Ap!)
I soon am going to be walking the walk of the walkers.
Okay, not really but I am planning an evening of binge watching this season’s Walking Dead episodes. I originally was going to wait for Thanksgiving but was warned by the wife today that we would be busier than I anticipated on Thursday.
I love the series but somehow have yet to watch a show this season. They have been building up on my DVR just waiting until it was time to break out. I have caught up on all the current shows I watch except the Walking Dead.
This season I have watched all my super-hero shows and there are a bunch now. I am current on Flash, The Arrow, Gotham and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.. The latest Supernatural has been played on my TV. The most recent Shark Tank and Bar Rescue are no longer among the recordings I need to watch. I have even watched all the new episodes of Ben 10 (yes I am a forty year old man who loves a cartoon about a kid who can change into aliens to save the universe from other aliens, deal with it!)
During all this watching of my favorite shows the Walking Dead remained there on my DVR just waiting. For whatever reason something else always seemed to get in the way when I decided to start watching. In all this time I have managed to bypass any spoilers of the show, even I can’t believe this has been possible. I have willfully ignored all blog posts related to the show and immediately turned away or closed out any news of the show’s happenings this season.
I am about to get started catching up so please, no spoilers in the comments. I will know it all soon. I plan to find out who gets killed, who falls into like with another, who gets zombiefied, how many times Rick flips between crazy and not crazy, how many heads Michonne can chop off before needing to re-sharpen her sword and so on.
Has anybody else wondered how long the Zombies could continuously be a problem? I know there are billions of people on the planet but there seem to be quite a few survivors as well. How many thousands of Zombies have Rick and his group already taken out? If every group of survivors is doing this wouldn’t the Zombie population eventually start becoming an endangered species? It’s not like they can reproduce right?
Anyway back to my TV time. Zombies on the screen, peanuts in my hand and a beer on the table. I’m all set for an evening of binging!
The long journey ended here. Just beyond the last row of trees was a new world waiting to be discovered. He could smell the freedom.
No longer would he be living in his parent’s shadow. No longer would he need to deal with the bullies and neighborhood crazies. He made the last few steps into his future and what he found was amazing.
The trees ended and the land turned to stone. He gingerly stepped out onto the new ground unlike any he had ever seen. It was warm under his feet and he knew he had made it. From now on his life would have meaning.
That thought echoed in his head as he continued across this foreign land. He was nearing the end when an inhabitant made its presence known. It was coming fast and the closer it came, the bigger it seemed. He waited with anticipation hoping to make a good impression.
It was still coming and coming fast. It was huge, smelled bad and made horrible noise. What sort of creature inhabited this place? Was it wise to have left the world he knew behind? No, he couldn’t think that way. This was his destiny!
Inside the car a little girl screamed.
“Sweetie, what is it?” dad asked.
“I think you ran over a rabbit daddy. Can we go back and check on him?” his daughter answered.
“Sweetie, the rabbit hopped away just in time. He’s fine.” he told her thinking to himself why did she have to be looking out the window.
“Of course. I wouldn’t lie honey.” dad answered trying to be as convincing as he could.
This post was written for the Sunday Photo Fiction prompt and inspired by the photo above.
I noticed something today while watching TV. During the commercials I witnessed a mom with a vacuum smiling as she cleaned up the mess her kids had made. Do they think we believe this?
Every other commercial is a parent smiling as they wipe up the mess left behind by kids or pets with some great brand of paper towels or the newest Swiffer product. I’m sorry but when I was little and made a mess there were not many smiles I remember. No it was usually something of a different sort.
My dad would come home from work expecting a clean house. If the floors were not swept and vacuumed or the tables were full of odds and ends that needed to be put away we heard about it. We as in the kids. It was expected for us to have spent the afternoons after school doing our homework and cleaning the house before even thinking of playing.
I’m not saying my parents were like prison wardens or anything, there was just certain things that was the norm for us. My dad worked almost everyday and my mom too along with making dinner and keeping up the family. Our jobs were to be kids, but also do our part to keep things flowing smoothly. Messes were expected, but cleaning them was up to us.
If we spilled our drink WE needed to grab the towels to wipe it up. If we took too long or started arguing about it mom may grab the towel herself, but believe me there was not a smile. Coming in muddy from outside and leaving a trail through the house was not cute, it was another mess that needed to be cleaned. A food fight was not a funny tidbit to tell others about, instead it was more of a capital offense punishable by any means necessary.
I heard the phrase “Clean it up, NOW!” quite a few times and still don’t recall any smiling faces. If there was a debate on who should clean or who made the mess between me and the siblings it just made it that much worse. Even as an adult I don’t think I smile while I am cleaning the house. If I reorganize something and like the new look I may smile then.
I just think if the product makers want the commercials to be more realistic they should have the parents screaming while the kids whimper, argue and scrub the floor. I guess that wouldn’t be good for the product’s reputation but it would be more accurate. What’s your thoughts? Maybe I’m just having a weird day and reading too much into things.
Hope you are enjoying my comic Love, Laugh…LOOK OUT as much as I am. Today’s comic is all about being a man…or not! Stay tuned on Saturday mornings for my next installment.
I have a potato chip addiction
Doesn’t matter what the day
Right now I want Doritos
Tomorrow it might be Lays
I can eat them on a sandwich
Or mix them in ice cream
But straight out of the bag
Is just like a perfect dream
Coming home from work
I always stop by the store
I’ll get everything I need
Then load up on chips galore
Forget about the candy
Don’t give me sweets or nuts
I want a bag of chips
Then maybe you’ll see me strut
The day is going badly
And I know I’ve hit a snag
When I reach for a chip
And find an empty bag
I need to resupply
But I hate having to shop
I am just so addicted
I don’t think I can stop
My doc called me today
Said we need to chat
I know he wants to tell me
Chips will make me fat
I told him I couldn’t make it
That I didn’t have the cash
Paying for an office visit
Might limit my chips stash
I wish the bag of chips
When emptied would restore
So I didn’t need to search
For leftovers on the floor.
Okay maybe the last line was too much, but hey I told you I was an addict!
“What happened to Middleham? That used to be the place to go for the latest, best car gear and upgrades.” Pete asked. He hadn’t been back to town in a few years now and was jut discovering how much things had changed.
“Old man Middleham lost it. He watched the second Back to the Future movie and decided to start investing everything into flying cars and parts for them. He went under and the place shut down. I think he’s actually living in there now but no one’s seen him for weeks.” Larry told him.
“Weird. So what happened to that killer Mustang he drove?”
“As far as I know he still has it.” Larry answered then turned to see what the disturbance behind them was.
The doors to the shop opened and out drove old man Middleham and his prize Mustang. The top was down and the chrome was shining while Middleham sat in the seat smiling.
“Mr. Middleham, where you been?” Larry asked “The car is lookin good”
“Oh I was away getting my pilots license. You may want to step back a bit.” He replied then attached goggles over his eyes. “Away we go!” he stated as the car started making a strange sound. Seconds later the tires had turned inward and the car began to hover. Old man Middleham hit the horn then screamed as the car took off into the sky.
Written for Friday Fictioneers and inspired by the photo above.